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How Old is Too Old for ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘Girlfriend’?

By Kat Stoeffel

Co-habitating, unmarried romantic partners don’t know how to refer to each other, the New York Times Style section reports. These long-term lovebirds are under the impression that couples can outgrow “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” (a majority of Cut bloggers’ grandparents disagree) and are resorting to silly neologisms like fusband, for fake husband. These terms are an insult to the English language, which is rich with synonyms for “my no-longer-a-boy-/girlfriend who won’t marry me.”

Term: Partner Good for: People waiting to marry until their gay friends can.

Term: Baby daddy/mama Good for: old people trying to act young who listen to rap.

Term: Gentleman/lady friend Good for: Grandparents.

Term: Lover Good for: Oversharers, people who tell all their business,  addicted to PDA, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

Term: Trick Good for: Our social-media editor who’s hipper than we are.

Term: Hot-and-heavy Good for: Parents trying to embarrass their recently sexually active children.

Term: Beau Good for: Parents trying not to embarrass their recently sexually active children.

Term: Paramour Good for: Kenya Moore, other people with Messy Lives.

Term: Other half Good for: Co-dependent people

Term: Old man/lady Good for: Neffi (Keysha Cole, sister), people with daddy/mommy issues.

Term: Roommate Good for: Jokers, people who want to cheat on their live-in significant other, actual roommates who are secretly hooking up.

Term: Domestic partner Good for: People who need health insurance.

Term: “The person I have sex with.” Good for: Awesome couple that swing

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How Old is Too Old for ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘Girlfriend’?  was originally published on wzakcleveland.com