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I was at the church-house and as usual, Pastor was GOING INNNNNNNNNNNNN! My Pastor said something that blew my mind. He said that, “It’s more of a thrill for women to chase men than it is for men to chase women.” I pondered on that for a second. My Pastor is 100% correct. I think about all of the women who contact me every day about their relationship or marriage. Honestly, most of the time I want to say to them, “Why are you putting up with that mess!”

In my head I am thinking. . .

It is a wrap on your relationship or marriage.

In my heart I am feeling. . .

Compassion for your feelings. Empathy. Everyone deserves happiness and to be loved.

In my memory. . .

I remember that men can change. Men can grow and evolve. Men can be great husbands and fathers. But your man has to want to be a great husband or father. You can’t want it for him. A woman’s encouragement of a man to be greater means almost nothing if that man does not want to or think that he can be great. I wanted to be great. I am great.

The Thrill of The Chase in men for women is reasonable. Let me explain. You have a man who’s eyes are impressed by the figure of a woman. Men are visual. This woman becomes his conquest. Depending on the characteristics of that man, (not quality, characteristics) that man can measure and put a percentage on his chances of completing his conquest. When I was single, 9 out of 10 women in the building any given night would be mine if I so chose. I was handsome, I had a great smile, fit, I had the gift of gab, advanced intellect, great job, made six figures, home owner and my car did not have a top. My thrill is 90% achievable. It’s not really a chase, she is standing right there waiting for me to approach her.

In contrast, The Thrill of The Chase in women for men is unreasonable. The two “Chases” are different. Men chase women that they do not have a relationship with. It is new. It is unknown. The woman that is being chased could also be curious about the man chasing her. The male chase has the potential to lead to a relationship or better yet a sexcapade. (Sexcapade = Free sex. No work, no commitment, no chance at a fullfiling relationship.) The woman is not chasing a new man or a new relationship. Too often, the woman is chasing a proven to be bad man or a proven to be failed relationship. Man’s Chase has potential. Woman’s Chase lacks potential (the relationship has already failed once if not twice or thrice). The Thrill of The Chase in women actually is a chase. He is leaving, you want him to stay. He is cheating, you want him to stop. He doesn’t want you, YOU . . . CAN’T . . . STOP . . . WANTING . . . HIM.


Check out my interview on the article on Kiss 104 Atlanta’s Twanda Black:

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“Men Don’t Heal, We Ho – A Book About the Emotional Instability of Men” is now available on

– Audio Book Available on iTunes.

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