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“I love when you get all mad.”

Is he fuming because he’s behind a car that’s oh-so-annoyingly crawling along in the left lane? Sure, it’s fine to make a joke, but Jeff, 40, suggests making it at the other driver’s expense. “I know I can get worked up about minor stuff, but when I hear this, I feel like it’s harder to be honest about my feelings when it comes to things that really matter to me, because I’m worried she’s going to shoot me down.”

“He acts like such a baby when his team loses.”

“This is something I’ve overheard my wife say on the phone to her friends,” says Charles, 38. “I know she’s talking about me, but she uses the same voice she uses when she’s talking about our 3-year-old having a temper tantrum.” While no one likes to be talked about behind their back, guys are especially sensitive to lack of loyalty. Yes, the way he freaks out when his team blows a playoff game is funny-but if he’s not laughing, it’s best to keep it on the DL, at least while your husband is in earshot. There’s another reason: “When I hear her talking about me to her friends when she thinks I’m not listening, I can’t help but wonder what else she may talk about.”

“Do whatever you want.”

Unless you’re saying this with a smile because it’s his birthday or he just bought a winning lottery ticket, when guys hear this, their stomachs sink. “I feel like I’m on a game show. Just tell me the right answer!” begs Bryan, 29. Men everywhere agree: If you have something in mind, spill it instead of making him play a guessing game.

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Phrases that Make Men Go Ballistic was originally published on wzakcleveland.com

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