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Rapper and actor T.I. is under fire after he reviled that every year he goes to the gynecologist with his daughter yearly to make sure she’s still a virgin. He does this by asking the doctor to check and see if her hymen is still intact. Since sharing this information people have not been shy about sharing their disapproval of his tactics. Jacque Reid goes Inside Her Story with Nikki Brown, also known as the Coochie Coach.

Brown says she commends T.I for  “supporting his daughter,” in an experience that is so uncomfortable for women. But says “it’s the other piece” that she has an issue with. It makes her wonder what message this sends. Does it send the message that she is “empowered” or that she is giving her  power over to a man, even dad, for the sake of “I care about you.”

This also raises the question, “how do we define virginity?” Is virginity just the lack of “penetration” or the lack of other forms of sexual pleasure? That answer is different for different people.

Brown believes that parents should talk to their kids about sex, but remember to teach them, “you have the right to chose how you would like to use your own body.” As a parent you have your feelings about sex based on your experiences, but when it comes to your children you have to remember that “their experiences are not our experiences.”

You can find Brown on social media @thecoochiecoach.

Inside Her Story: What Is Exactly Is Virginity?  was originally published on