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LeBron James was trying to be a regular citizen attempting to watch a Buckeyes football affair on Saturday, so he did what any regular Joe would do when presented with hoards of people all trying to get to the same destination; he asked for a police escort to make sure nobody touches him. Unfortunately for LeBron, cops are basketball fans too. For some reason, he was denied his personal police detail.

So how did James respond? By not showing up to the game at all.

On the bright side, he could probably get a police escort to defend him from the gathering masses that attend Florida Marlins games, eh? From Cleveland Leader.com:

James reportedly asked Ohio State University’s Police Department for a full escort for his arrival at the Buckeyes vs. Hurricanes game on Saturday, but was rather quickly denied.

A source says that at best he’ll get one police officer to escort him, and that “he made his decision.”

Something tells me that one police officer keeps his only bullet in his shirt pocket and has a girlfriend named Thelma Lou.

James is good friends with Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor, but the thought of mingling with folks who might actually touch him was too much, so he made other plans. From Waiting For Next Year:

Spurning Columbus, James opted to stay in his home town of Akron for the day, catching the St. Vincent-St. Mary football team put up a baseball score win of 7-6 over Buchtel. James obviously felt safer amongst the St. V’s crowd as it drew approximately 95,000 fewer fans that could potentially cause harm.