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Even though children sometimes seem to resist it and test the boundaries, they crave routine, according to Dr. Adiaha Spinks Franklin, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Texas Children’s Hospital.
In fact, behavioral researchers have said studies show that one of the best places to influence your child’s behavior is at the dinner table.
“Girls are less likely to get pregnant and boys are less likely to be truant from school,” Spinks-Franklin told Upwave in an interview. “Kids have fewer behavior problems all around in school, and there is better communication between parents and children.”
Mealtime is when parents learn about their children’s day, issues at school and help them solve problems in a comfortable and comforting atmosphere. Even when your tween or teen is behaving as if you are the most embarrassing parent ever, the reality is parents are still children’s No. 1 role models, Spinks-Franklin said.
Spinks-Franklin also said in a separate interview with Modern Mom, that it was important to make sure children have a role in the maintenance of the home.
Daily chores help make children feel more included and important to the smooth running of the family household. Spinks-Franklin said there is a correlation between being given responsibilities as a child and being a responsible adult later in life.
Spinks-Franklin said young children can do simple chores, including setting the table, washing dishes or putting things away.
Children can be taught these skills at an early age because that is usually when they are curious enough to want to know how things work and are eager to participate. It helps children develop problem-solving skills. It is also an opportunity to help children see that their behaviors have consequences for others, as well as themselves.
Spinks-Franklin said constant opportunities for conversation and dialogue also helps parents instill family values in their children and to be sure they understand their children.
Therapists say it is important to have clear, non-negotiable rules (even when you suspect the rules are likely to be bent or broken). Children are likely to push the boundaries, but they need to have a sense of how far they can go while trying to exercise some independence.
“It’s not THE talk, it’s multiple, ongoing conversations about everything – substance abuse, friendships, sex – that occur over the span of their childhood,” Spinks-Franklin told the Bellaire Buzz. “These give them a framework with which to work when they hit their teens.”
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