1. Fierce moves that fans can actually dance along to.
2. Rock an Afro.
3. And a shaved head.
4. Clone an army.
5. Lean (with friends!)
6. Throw concerts where you can both see and hear her without having sell your firstborn.
Even if you’re in the ‘nosebleed’ seats.
7. Angst in a bathroom.
While taking a pregnancy test.
8. Sing lullabies.
…on “Yo Gabba Gabba”!
9. Send subliminal Illuminati messages.
In feathered eyelash style.
10. Lead a bike gang.
11. Rock epic fucking pantsuits.
12. And shun regular pants.
In real life and not just on stage.
14. Stun Rihanna.
15. And finally, embody Tom Hanks.
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