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(From apartmenttherapy.com)

Remember when you went to visit a friend and her new baby BEFORE you had a baby? At least for us, we just didn’t realize the place they were at. We wanted to stay and hear all about the birth and just hang out.

When we had our own baby, we saw things in a different light. We loved having visitors come and meet our new baby (and bring us food), but we were also really tired and preoccupied with a newborn baby. We noticed that quite a few non-parents made themselves comfortable and had a hard time taking our hints that it might be time to go.

“Oh, it’s time for me to feed her.”

“Oh, OK, go ahead, take your time.”

Here are some of our faves:

1. Don’t make out with my baby. Yea, I know you love her and all, but she’s still young with a weak immune system, and, well, it’s plain gross to watch! Reserve your necking for your significant other! If you want to show her love, donate $100 to her 529 Plan and give her a light hug goodbye.

2. Don’t expect to visit soon after the baby’s born, unless you are family. Well-loved family. Phrase the question: “When will you guys be ready for visitors?”

3. Make the effort to visit them. When the time is right, they will love you visiting them. Emphasis on you, because most likely it’s a lot more difficult for them to visit you. A lot more.

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4 Do not visit new parents and their baby if you are in any way sick; yes, pinkeye and open sores count as ’sick’.

5. Be on time. It is quite a big production to prep a baby for visitors; tasks include: timing the feeding so that the baby’s in a good mood for you, changing her, cleaning her and calming her; and, let’s not forget the work involved with the parents trying to decently spruce up themselves and the home. If you’re late 30 minutes, it’s like tossing half of that work out the window.

6. Wash your hands; this will make mom feel better and think more highly of you as a righteous, upstanding citizen – and, someone worthy of holding her prized golden baby snow monkey.

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