So, I got a question for you. Which is worse, a lie or a secret? Have you given it some thought? Ok, before you decide let’s go over a lie and a secret and how they pertain to relationships. There may have been a time fellas where your lady asked. “do I look fat in this dress,” and you had to tell a lie to save face and her feelings. Ladies, you may have had a time where you had some tea you could spill to a bestie for the sake of the friendship. Was that really the right thing to do? Sometimes when you hold a secret it can cause you anxiety. Sometimes when you tell a lie that thing can blow up into something terrible and you have to lie again to hide the other lie that you told earlier. Is there ever a time when telling a lie or keeping a secret is a good thing?
There are times when one has to lie simply because we don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings or to encourage them so they don’t feel bad. Man, now that I think about it, the same thing can be said about secrets. Okay, how about if I frame it this way when is lying or keeping a secret hurtful and when is it ok to save someone from getting their feelings hurt?
According to actress and wellness entrepreneur, Pooja Bedi, “if you’re deceitful within a relationship, your personality, ethics, and courage need to be questioned as well as the level of respect for the other person’s right to know and act accordingly.”
On the other hand, the founder of The Skill School, GeetArsh Kaur, thinks there should be a balance. “The human mindset is such that we only think of a lie in a negative context and it doesn’t have to be.” As a matter of fact, Kaur says lies can “save a relationship” while a secret is “the wrong word for something that you don’t want to disclose or give unnecessary importance to.”
Relationship coach Altaf Shaikh says that a couple will only share about 70 percent of information about themselves while in a relationship.
Have you ever been in a situation and had to tell a lie or keep that juicy gossip from someone close to you? We’ve all had to deal with it at some point.
So again I ask you, which is worse, a lie or a secret??