When is the popularity contest over?
So I’m driving east on route 161 on the north side of Columbus when I see a man, in his mid to late 40’s, blue ol skool button down shirt with the dingy pin strips, some “used to be” navy cotton slacks from the looks of em. His ensemble was finished off with some dusty cream dress socks and of course some wide square toe Sunday, Huggy Bear looking, patent leather dress shoes. This was not even the worst part of the situation. What took it over the top was two things. One, he had a slicked back greasy permed out pony tail straight from the 70’s. Two, he was riding a bike down route 161. You heard me write, no Cadillac, no cutlass, no buick even. He was riding an old bike at that.
Now is this piece meant to bash this man, of course not. I don’t even know him or his situation. But like myself, I know you may have been reading this and thinking “who is this dude he’s talking about and why in the hell would he have on that outfit while riding a bike?” I thought the same thing, which lead to another thought, which lead to me sitting here and giving you my thoughts on a topic I think is very important. Growing up.
That afternoon reflection took me back some years. We all have been a part of the fishbowl culture that is public school, right? So see if you can relate to this. Do you remember the bullies of the school? Do you remember the cheerleaders? Do you remember the ladies man or the pretty boys? Well do you remember that most of the kids we grew up with didn’t have much control over their lives at the time? For instance I remember those kids in school who seemed to have everything, nice clothes, good hair cut, the latest gadgets, hot shoes, and extra money at all times. Some of those kids abused that power. They treated everyone as if they were better by design and could do no wrong. Never realizing that it was actually their parents, relatives, or guardians who shaped their lives up throughout high school.
Fast forward to today and those same people are scattered all across the economic landscape, some having actually done a complete 360. I mean how sad is it to see a former beauty queen looking dusty and 10 years older than you from her hard days of partying, drugs, and sexual experimentation. Or you know what kills me? The extra cocky guy who in your younger years pushed his weight around and flaunted his new stuff and when you see them now they have the audacity to front like they’ve still got it. Still talking sideways but just from appearance alone, look half as put together as they used to. This is why this question came to mind. When DO you start to think about your future and realize that the popularity contest is over?
In American culture this same issue is becoming a national problem. Newsweek featured a story on our cultures increasing need (especially males) to remain young “in mind” much past the years our forefathers did. According to the sociologist Michael Kimmel, the traditional markers of manhood—leaving home, getting an education, finding a partner, starting work and becoming a father—have moved farther away as the traditional passage from adolescence to adulthood has evolved. It was once a transitional moment, now it is a whole new stage of life. In 1960, almost 70 percent of men had reached these milestones by the age of 30. Today it’s “thirty’s the new twenty”
What makes someone want to hold on to the past so much that it holds them back from maturing as a person? Is it fear of facing reality? Is it a fear that no you are not going to the NBA or NFL, you are not going to be the next Jay-Z, and you are not the player you used to be? For many people it may be different reasons but all in all something is retarding their full potential at living a normal life.
Some experts believe that it is some type of fear or reluctancy. Kimmel believes that we live in a world where adolescent demonstrations of manhood have replaced the real thing: responsibility. I couldn’t agree with him more. And the pattern seems to grow amongst the younger generations, acting as if reluctant to follow in their father’s footsteps.
What is consistent, are the results of living in the past and refusing to grow up. While you are trying to “stay cool” or “rep your block”, you are missing out on vital time that can be used to learn real skills and earn you a decent living, or even afford to support your hobbies. Before you know it you are the old guy at the party, you are the guy with a garage full of equipment but no frame on your bed, you are the guy with your high school jersey nailed to your wall…but your 33.
I’m not trying to knock anyone who has dreams. I have struggled for years and continue to try to fulfill mine, but I also have a plan and stick to it. There is a difference when you set real goals and have a plan then to just believe something is going to happen or that you will still be cool because you got “swag.” Just think about this. Before you find yourself getting up at 1pm. Before you grab that old button down you had on the floor from last night. Before you dust off that 1989 blue streak bike you found in decent condition at your grandmother’s house. Before you ride down 161 on your way to get you one of those new aged malt liquors. Before you pedal past a young man who’s riding in a new car, looking sharp and laughing at yo ass think about it, when is life not about image anymore and when is it about substance. ONE
