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Dear Gay Best Friend,

I met this guy “Robert” at a bar on a Friday. We exchanged numbers and planned to hang out the next day because I was headed off to another place to meet up with friends. However (and probably unfortunately) I ended up seeing him after the bars closed as I was walking my friend home. His friend and him ended up walking us to her place and both of them caught a cab home to my place. We ended up drinking some more and just talking and eventually his friend left. The next morning after a night of cuddling and making out we had sex. We woke up, talked for awhile, and then eventually I drove him home. When he got out of the car he said he would call me later and kissed me goodbye (on the lips mind you). Yet all day he never called.

I know the three day rule but honestly think it is ridiculous so I text him on Sunday. We kept the conversation light and he replied to my texts (which he could have blown me off). But now it is been a couple of days and nothing. I kind of like him and would really like to see him again to get to know him better. Hopefully hang out with out having sex. Do you think it is a loss cause or should I just be more patient? I know it was probably a mistake sleeping with him so fast but do you think I can get things back on track? Should I make the second move and invite him to hang out? – Impulsively Searching For Love

“He Didn’t Want To Get Married, But We Did & He’s Still Sleeping With His Baby’s Momma”

Dear Ms. Impulsively Searching For Love,

Sigh! When will you ladies learn: Sex for a man does not equate love or instant feelings of like. It’s just sex. It’s a physical act of lust and desire, and on many occasions a need to release.

You said you kind of like him. Well, could you please tell me what do you like about him, ma’am? Yeah, just as I figured. You don’t know him. You had sex with him after a night of drinking. You both were mentally, emotionally, and physically impaired. How can you make a sound judgment under the influence of alcohol? Please explain that to me.

Girl, you had drunk sex and now you think you’ve met the one. SMDH! Silly ass rabbit, tricks are for kids. Ole trick ass.

Your signature is befitting of you: Ms. Impulsively Searching For Love. Stop searching for love by opening your legs to random dudes you meet at a bar. How about you start opening your mind and feeding and nurturing your spirit.

Girl, I’m still LMBAO because you truly believe and feel that just because he kissed you on the lips after you drove him home the next morning that it was a sign that he really liked you and wanted to get to know you better. I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! Please make it stop baby Jesus. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

“He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

Dear Gay Best Friend,

What do I do when I like someone but they are in the middle of a divorce? – Liking A Married Man

Dear Ms. Liking A Married Man,

Uhm, how about you leave them alone and wait until the divorce is over.

He is still married. I don’t care if he’s separated, and they are going through a divorce. What part of they are still married do you not understand?  Ole thirsty ass chick.

Please, slowly remove your rouge painted lips from under his nut sac and stop sipping his juices.

Let him go through his divorce before you start any type of relationship with this man. And, please note: Although he may be divorcing his wife, he is not ready to jump into another relationship so soon. So, any hopes of you being the next Mrs., please get that out of your head. You will be the jump-off, and bed buddy. You know, the in-between time chick until he finds another woman he wants to settle down with and make his wife.

So, pump your brakes. Get you some business, and preferably a man that is not tied to some other woman. Yeah, that’s a thought. How about you find a man who is single, eligible, and available. Why do you want to be with someone who already has somebody? Because as the saying goes, “How you find him, is how you will lose him.” – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

“My Boyfriend Infected Me With HIV & He Stole My Money For My Meds”

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I met a guy on face book and I cuddled a little with him at the first date. He didn’t even ask me to become his girlfriend or anything. We met again two days later. We cuddled a lot again. After that, I called him a couple of times. He answered me, but he won’t call me himself. He pretends that he’s busy so he doesn’t have time to see me. But, I really like this guy and I don’t wanna let go of him. I wanna know if there is something I could do about it to make it work? – Liking My Facebook Friend

Dear Ms. Liking My Facebook Friend,

Girl, are you serious right now? SMDH! Chile, here we go with these Facebook romances.

Uhm, sweetie if you cuddled with him on the first date after meeting him over the computer, he’s not going to take you serious or even consider dating you. There’s a word for women like you, and I’m trying to refrain from calling you a hoe, so let’s just say that you’re easy. How about that? LOL!

If you can hop your fast ass in the bed with a man you don’t know, and from off the computer, then why are you expecting him to return your calls after you’ve shown him the goodies and you let him get a sample of your treats?

The doors of the, All Women’s Academy For Simplemindedness And Dumb Women Who Do Dumb –Ish, are open. And, darling, I’m going to need you to step to the front of the line.

You women are going to learn about meeting random men on the computer and taking your hot between the legs asses over to their houses. Your ass is going to come up missing. Ole Jeffrey Dahmer cannibal eating your brains for dinner.

Look, girl, he’s not interested in you. He’s not thinking about you. He only has sex on the brain. He just wanted to smash and use you like he’s done other random women he’s met off Facebook. It’s a game for him, and like most men. It’s called, “How many chicks can I slay on the first night and add to my little black book of easy lays so the next time I’m horny I can hit them up and smash again.” And, you my dear, have become a statistic to the game. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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