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For as long as the internet has been around men, stalkers, douchebags, and A**holes have been hawking women on the internet. To women it is far too prevalent and is expected. They know that no matter what they look like, there is someone lurking around the corner of the net ready to pounce on the first women who updates her status.

But we’re here to help you fellas! Don’t land yourself in one of those categories. Show these women that there are good men on the net that don’t just want to “poke” them. Check out the Gentlemen’s Guide To Kicking Game On The Internet.


Don’t be that random guy telling her she’s hot

Your opening line should never include anything regarding her appearance. Aside from being rude and completely unoriginal, it’s redundant. Most women will assume that if you’re taking the time to message them (or @ reply them, or initiate any other sort of unsolicited contact) you find them attractive.

Consider how creepy you are

When approaching a woman you have never met in real life, always ask yourself: “How creepy am I being right now?” More often than not the answer is very.

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Whenever possible, get a real person to introduce you

The best way to lower her inhibitions about talking to a stranger is to get a mutual friend to introduce the two of you (then you’re not a stranger!). If you’re cruising your Twitter or Facebook feed and you see some random cutie in a photo with one of your boys, don’t immediately send her a friend request or a random message. As discussed, a compliment as an introduction is an always-fail approach, and “Hey, how are you? I don’t know you but…you seem cool” isn’t much better. What are you basing this on? The three small tidbits of info about her that Facebook hasn’t blocked? Sure, it’s nice to think that we seem that intriguing based on the single sentence bio Twitter allows, but it’s just not possible.

Reconsider your handle

In an ideal world, every beautiful woman you came across would be a friend of a friend. But the fact is, some of the people we stumble upon in the seemingly infinite universe that is the Internet are total strangers.

That’s not to say you can’t be genuinely attracted to the identity someone has constructed online. If you consider the many mediums we use to connect these days (Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Formspring, WordPress, LinkedIn, gchat, Foursquare, YouTube—the list grows faster than we can create new profiles!), you realize that you can get a multi-faceted sense of who someone is. Still, it’s just a constructed outline, one that has probably been built with an audience and desired self-image in mind.

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Ask yourself, “Would I say/do/ask this In Real Life?”

Many an online faux pas can be avoided by considering the following: “If this woman was in front of me, would I act the same way?”

The application of this is endless. If a beautiful woman was right in front of you, would you ask her for a nude photo? Would you play it cocky and say, “I usually only date blondes, but I guess I can make an exception for you”?

Some parting pointers

A few last things to keep in mind:

  • We glossed over this before, but never send or request nude pictures.
  • Don’t try to pick her up on LinkedIn. This is a networking site for your career, not for your penis.
  • Don’t show up where she is because she checked in there on Foursquare. Never do this.
  • Correct grammar, syntax, and a general knowledge of the English language go a long way.