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I’d say I’m a pretty adventurous person. I’m open to skydiving and am hoping to climb a mountain one day (as long as it’s reasonable. No thank you, Everest). That sense of adventure also applies to my love life, but there’s one risk I don’t think I’ll ever take: an open relationship. Even though I love roller coasters, I know I couldn’t deal with the emotional ups and downs that would come with being in an open relationship. Could you?

Open relationships sound so good in theory. You get consistent emotional support from one person but get to sample the physical goods of many others. What’s not to love there? Uh, the fact that fair is fair, and your partner would be entitled to do the same! Plus, on a less selfish note, isn’t part of the beauty of a long-term relationship that you choose to be only with each other when you could just date around? It is for me, but I can recognize and respect that for some people, that concept is actually terrifying.

Maybe an open relationship wouldn’t be tumultuous for you because it would actually be ideal. If you believe it’s possible to separate physical and romantic intimacy, then it would make sense that you’d have no problem being in an open relationship as long as you both kept things strictly physical with those outside the relationship. The jealousy would strike me dead, but more power to you if you can evade the green-eyed monster! Or it could be that you just don’t believe human beings are meant to have sex with one person for most of their lives. If you know you can handle an open relationship, then I see no reason not to go for one as long as everyone’s honest.

The only time I’d really caution against it is if one person really wants to open up the relationship but the other is more hesitant. Your boyfriend shouldn’t have to convince you when it comes to sex, especially if it’s sex that he’d have with other people. Same goes for the opposite situation; if your guy isn’t comfortable with the idea of opening it up, you should either agree to be monogamous or go your separate ways.



The Dilemma: Would You Ever Have an Open Relationship??  was originally published on