1. Grope. Hey, baby. I’m going to get you in the mood by squeezing your boobs as hard as I can. Is this working for you?
2. Dry hump. Let’s get it started in here. Let me grind my pubic bone onto your exposed hip bone as hard as I can like I’m trying to start a friction fire.
3. Ask to have sex. Yeah, let’s set the mood by timidly asking you if we can engage in sex. Maybe we’ll send you an Outlook event titled “boning” for your calendar so you can know exactly when it’s going down.
Things Guys Do that Totally Kill the Mood was originally published on wzakcleveland.com
