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Why Your Man’s Laziness May Be Your Fault

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“Do you have any idea how much I do in a day?” I hissed at my husband the other night. I’d kept the thought inside before, but this time I couldn’t help but blurt it out. He was supposed to stop at FedEx to pick up a box so I could return clothing I’d bought online for the kids. Only he’d forgotten. Again. I fell in love with my husband for his easygoing, laid-back demeanor. He balances my Type-A tendencies, calming me and emphasizing that things don’t always need to get done the instant they come up. I know this. But still, sometimes, things just need to get done. Deadlines exist. Time is important. And so, I was upset the other night–and irrationally so, I know, given that it was just a box. Only it wasn’t just a box. It was about the number of tasks of childcare, housework and parenthood–and how overwhelming they can be. Especially when you have a child with special needs, as we do. I sometimes feel like I pick up more than my fair share of the boxes in our relationship. A whole lot of women feel the same, it turns out, as I discovered when I posted a question on Facebook asking friends how the division of childcare and household labor played out in their marriages, and whether they ever felt resentful about having too much to do. Dozens of responses quickly poured in. Most of the 80 women said they handled the majority of childcare-and the vast majority of household work. Half of the respondents said that yes, at times, they have resented it (and I’ll bet more weren’t willing to publicly admit it). “I do too much plus I work nearly full time and I totally resent it most days,” one mom commented. Not much has changed since Ph.Ds first started researching the whole marital division-of-labor thing. Read more Original Story

Why Your Man’s Laziness May Be Your Fault  was originally published on