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By Anita Alma

Ditch These Words

“We need to talk.” Nothing good usually follows that sentence, especially if you say it with major attitude. It will immediately put him on edge. Instead, start by letting him know you want to discuss “X” because of the way it made you feel.

Act Like You Want to Hear Side

Your body language says more than you think. Sit up straight, keep your hands clasped to avoid f lailing them around, look him in the eye, and nod to show you are listening. “If you’re talking with your arms crossed, leaning back, or scowling, he will be on the defense from the start,” says Rachel DeAlto, author of Flirt Fearlessly.


Be Quiet 
“One of the biggest mistakes women make when they argue is not knowing when to stop talking,” says relationship expert Michelle R. Callahan, PhD. “Women usually have a laundry list of concerns and sometimes you can’t address everything in one conversation.” Take a breath and let him get a word in. Really listen to what he is saying. If you keep talking over each other, you won’t resolve anything. 

Drop the Drama 
Women tend to get very dramatic during fights. Don’t scream, throw things, or get hysterical. It just makes you seem irrational or, even worse, unstable. Just walk away and return after you’ve calmed down. You have a better chance of getting your point across if he doesn’t think you’re crazy. 


Admit When He Makes a Good Point 
Believe it or not, he’s not always wrong. Tell him that you understand where he is coming from on certain specific points. This will definitely catch him off guard and make him feel like he should return the favor. 

Watch the Waterworks 
It’s okay to cry during an argument. Sometimes it’s the best way to show your partner how upset you are. However, breaking into tears all the time sends the wrong message. “He’ll feel like you’re acting and using your tears to manipulate him,” says Dr. Callahan. 

Keep Your Fight From Getting Worse 
If you realize that you’re close to saying something you will absolutely regret, your best bet is to stop talking and count to ten instead. “Tell him the conversation is going in a bad direction and that you both need a time out. If he ignores you and keeps going, just keep quiet,” says Dr. Callahan. Remember that at least one of you has to act like an adult.


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How to Fight with Your Man  was originally published on