It’s important in relationships nowadays, Spira explains, to have a clear conversation about where both parties stand on social media. “You should ask things like, ‘How do you feel about posting photos of us as a couple?’ Also, don’t do a kiss-and-tell unless you get permission from your significant other. Not everyone shares the same amount, and not everyone uses social media in the same way.”

For example, she says, women tend to post more about relationships than men do. And some people use Facebook more for professional networking than social sharing, and would be embarrassed if they showed up in an intimate kind of photo. (A 2010 relationship survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that two-thirds of attorneys said that Facebook was the primary source of evidence in divorce proceedings.)

Social media rules and decisions are best tackled together, as a couple, Spira adds. “Like relationship status. Should you have one? Should you change it? It’s not a unilateral decision,” she says. “It’s a decision best made together.”

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