1. “Everything happens for a reason.” Yes, blame this on fate. Except no – cheaters just suck.
2. “It happens to all of us.” No, it doesn’t happen to all of us. It happened to me and I’m the one dealing with the aftermath.
3. “You’re too good for him.” Sure, you’re with Jennifer Aniston on this one, and yes, you now know you’re too good for him, but you didn’t know that when we were five months in and talking about meeting each other parents while he was simultaneously dating everything that moved. Cut a girl some slack.
4. “I knew that guy was shady from the start.” OK, so he wasn’t totally transparent all of the time and his mystery got the best of you, but no one really needs this rubbed in their face when you had the same gut instinct all along.
5. “I never liked him for you.” Well if you thought he wasn’t good for me (aka he might cheat), then why didn’t you tell me what sooner?